Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Not sure how to Title this

I am not sure how I should title this post I just need to vent for a few seconds! I am really tired of a few things. One is my X and a few things that go along with him things that he has done and said why he has done these things I haven't a clue and I know he will just look at me without a clue as to what I am talking about and I haven't a clue how to handle him and that situation!
Two is my brother, I remember my brother from when he was 16 to 20 and I wish that boy would come back. I don't like the person he is now. He is my brother and always will be my brother it's just I wish I could get him to understand that I am a person with feelings, that I am not a dummy and that you have to learn to watch what you say and do to other people. He is suppose to be my family and he should support me and my family and that my boys are my boys not his! Yes, I appreciate him helping me with Ricky when Ricky was younger I know he has a kind heart somewhere it's just I haven't seen it in a long time. We all remember things differently but his/their memories are not always the way it really happen and just because they remember things differently doesn't mean it is to be set in stone their way!
This problem with Gene, that you and Ricky have has got to end and end now, yes he is different, yes he can be rough around the edges and he sees things differently then you do but he loves me, takes good care of me and he will NOT let ANYONE family or not disrespect me in any way! I know this is different from the way things use to be but it is the way it is now. Gene came from a military family, he grew up in the military, he went to a military school and he was in the military for over 30 years He sees things differently and handles situations differently. He grew up differently then you did! When you disrespected him by calling him a liar about what he did and who he was that upset him it really. I know you, if anyone would have talked to you like you did him, questioned your background or disrespected you in any way you wouldn't ever let them forget it. It has happen! Life needs to go on! Also you need to hear what I say!
The 3rd and last thing that is really bugging me is my middle son Ricky and this mess between us! I don't understand why you accused me of what you did, I know you have to learn to quit listening to other people and what they say about me or what might or might not have happened. I have never and would never disclaim you as my son for any reason. Don't you remember what you put me through throughtout your 30 years! The horrid things you said many times to me throughout these 30 years. You listen to what other people say I have done or said. You don't listen to me! You don't give me a chance! Some things that you have said that have happen I know never happen and I haven't a clue where you got those notions from. I know certain people have told you things to make you mad at me and turn you against me and it has worked boy has it worked and I do not deserve it. I don't understand why you want to hate me so bad! You know if you ever needed anything within reason I tried to help you and that I was always there for you no matter what. Look at all the crazy girlfriends that you have had. Some got you into trouble and I was always there to pick up the pieces. Another thing Gene is not your enemy he never has been. Gene just will not let anyone disrespect me or talk ugly to me and I know that is different from what you are use to it is different for me. I do deserve better and you know it. Yes, I haven't been the perfect mother but you haven't been the perfect child. I have done the best that I could at the time and if you think about it you know it is true. You turned your back on me when I needed you the most and only came back when you needed something. When I needed you where were you! Yes, you where there for me at Davy's funeral and I shall never forget that and I did greatly appreciate your comfort at the time! I needed it! Thank you. There is so much more I can say but I shall let it be this is enough. I would like our realationship back, it won't happen overnight it is going to have to be a gradually thing. Life is too short for all this, we are only hear for a short time we have to make the best of what we have. Your mother, "May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
May the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand" Till tomorrow1

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