Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Not sure how to Title this

I am not sure how I should title this post I just need to vent for a few seconds! I am really tired of a few things. One is my X and a few things that go along with him things that he has done and said why he has done these things I haven't a clue and I know he will just look at me without a clue as to what I am talking about and I haven't a clue how to handle him and that situation!
Two is my brother, I remember my brother from when he was 16 to 20 and I wish that boy would come back. I don't like the person he is now. He is my brother and always will be my brother it's just I wish I could get him to understand that I am a person with feelings, that I am not a dummy and that you have to learn to watch what you say and do to other people. He is suppose to be my family and he should support me and my family and that my boys are my boys not his! Yes, I appreciate him helping me with Ricky when Ricky was younger I know he has a kind heart somewhere it's just I haven't seen it in a long time. We all remember things differently but his/their memories are not always the way it really happen and just because they remember things differently doesn't mean it is to be set in stone their way!
This problem with Gene, that you and Ricky have has got to end and end now, yes he is different, yes he can be rough around the edges and he sees things differently then you do but he loves me, takes good care of me and he will NOT let ANYONE family or not disrespect me in any way! I know this is different from the way things use to be but it is the way it is now. Gene came from a military family, he grew up in the military, he went to a military school and he was in the military for over 30 years He sees things differently and handles situations differently. He grew up differently then you did! When you disrespected him by calling him a liar about what he did and who he was that upset him it really. I know you, if anyone would have talked to you like you did him, questioned your background or disrespected you in any way you wouldn't ever let them forget it. It has happen! Life needs to go on! Also you need to hear what I say!
The 3rd and last thing that is really bugging me is my middle son Ricky and this mess between us! I don't understand why you accused me of what you did, I know you have to learn to quit listening to other people and what they say about me or what might or might not have happened. I have never and would never disclaim you as my son for any reason. Don't you remember what you put me through throughtout your 30 years! The horrid things you said many times to me throughout these 30 years. You listen to what other people say I have done or said. You don't listen to me! You don't give me a chance! Some things that you have said that have happen I know never happen and I haven't a clue where you got those notions from. I know certain people have told you things to make you mad at me and turn you against me and it has worked boy has it worked and I do not deserve it. I don't understand why you want to hate me so bad! You know if you ever needed anything within reason I tried to help you and that I was always there for you no matter what. Look at all the crazy girlfriends that you have had. Some got you into trouble and I was always there to pick up the pieces. Another thing Gene is not your enemy he never has been. Gene just will not let anyone disrespect me or talk ugly to me and I know that is different from what you are use to it is different for me. I do deserve better and you know it. Yes, I haven't been the perfect mother but you haven't been the perfect child. I have done the best that I could at the time and if you think about it you know it is true. You turned your back on me when I needed you the most and only came back when you needed something. When I needed you where were you! Yes, you where there for me at Davy's funeral and I shall never forget that and I did greatly appreciate your comfort at the time! I needed it! Thank you. There is so much more I can say but I shall let it be this is enough. I would like our realationship back, it won't happen overnight it is going to have to be a gradually thing. Life is too short for all this, we are only hear for a short time we have to make the best of what we have. Your mother, "May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
May the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand" Till tomorrow1

Sunday, May 18, 2008


It has been 2 months since I posted last. Alot has gone on! Me being sick for over 3 months, sinus infection, flu, bronchitis, phenomena sinus infection! Just the meanness coming out in me I guess. I have been trying to knit. I have finished a monkey, I didn't like this one too much. The pattern wasn't clear. I also finished a shawl that I had started with Crystal Palace Panda Silk yarn. It was the Ivy Trellis pattern, it did turn out very well! Here is a picture of it.

I have been working on this bag using Knit one Crochet Too Yarn, Paint box yarn! Not my favorite yarn the bag is getting longer and longer, I might try to felt it a little. Picture to come.

I am still working on my room. I still have aways to go to get it where I want it to be but it is getting there. Weeding out a few items.

I want to get back to my sewing, I need to get my friendship squares finished and in the mail, I am so behind on everything. I still haven't figured out Vista or Word 4.

In April I made a trip to WA state to Sock Camp sponsored by Socks that Rocks. It was on Orcus Island. Little place, it did snow there.

I really enjoyed myself and can't wait to go back next year. I learned alot and meet alot of nice people. My trip did get off to a bad start. I stayed in Raleigh the night before my early morning flight and my neighbors decided to party hardy so I got little sleep, then they messed up my boarding pass and I had to go through security twice, as soon as I got out of security it was time to board the plane. NO COFFEE, BAD!! My direct flight ended up being a stop over and change of plane in Ohio! No sleep! Finally got to WA got on my bus to the ferry, a long ride, the ferry ride was not all it was suppose to be! I hope I can avoid the ferry next year and go by plane to the Island. One of the things we made on at camp was a small version of the Cheeky Monkey, I used buttons for the eyes and it makes him a little scary. I call him the clown. He wasn't hard to make and we made him in 3 days. Now don't laugh!

We also made sock puppets, I don't think I took a picture of it. The Yarn Harlot was at camp and she was great, along with Cookie who did the Monkey sock, JC Briar designer and Cat Bordhi. I had my books of theirs with me but didn't get them signed and I didn't take any pictures! Too much too do to remember to take pictures. Bad me, my camera and I don't get along my pictures kept coming out fuzzy! I am looking at getting another camera. Here are a few pictures that I took while I was up there.

Gene has been down and out for the past 3 weeks or is it 4 maybe 5 long time that is all I know! It started with his hernia, went to a tooth that needed to be pulled to a viral infection to having a hernia operation and again I am getting use to the Army way of hospital and medical! I have been trying to get him to stay down, but he is a hard head and you would think that as sick as he has been he would listen.

My niece graduated from NCSU, here is a picture of us at her party. It was freezing outside, Matthew has his arm around me because I was trying to hid, Matthew's girlfriend, Rebecca is on his other side, my younger brother is doing the bunnie ears on me and my older brother is in the back row he is the father of my niece. My oldest son, his wife and master Noah is pictured along with my Aunt Margie who is 84 her granddaughter Leslie and Leslie's son! Aren't we a scary group! Josie is the one in the middle sort of in pink! No Ricky is still isn't speaking to me, we are going on 14th months now!

Hope everyone had a good Mother's day. Christopher, Kacie and Noah stayed with us the weekend and Matthew and his Girlfriend Rebeca came over Sunday evening. Rebeca brought me over a pint of Strawberries and I ate them all myself. I love fresh strawberries!

Here are a couple pictures of Noah around Easter. The little fellow is growing up like crazy, he is 16 months now and is doing real well, he loves for you to read and he can make alot of animal noises and loves trucks. His mom bought him a quad, that is a little 3 wheeler and he is a little demon! Oh yea for the big NEWS Master Noah is going to be a brother come the middle of November. I get to go down and stay with them when she goes into the hospital and stay with them for at least a week. Yea me!

Gene is still on track to get his Master's degree in June in VT! Yea! a week in VT

The weather here has been crazy, pollen count has been high, allergies bad, fire ants every where. I went outside to put fire ant killer on the mounds and I got bit twice, nice little blisters.

I will try and be a little better at posting and posting pictures. Take care, as I say on my signature line "May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
May the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand"